Up until this point of the story, some might say if she didn't steal for the very first time, things wouldn't have blown up like this. Others might say who has never done wrong in their life? The teacher could have just told the students that although Lyn shouldn't have to steal, it is still not nice for all of you to tease her family's financial status as you could have just shown some compassion and love by helping her out. Think about it, if you're Lyn's shoes, would you like to be teased?
If the teacher could have just asked the classmates to gather some money to buy Lyn a pencil case after she was asked to apologize, Lyn would not only feel grateful as she would understand what is sacrifice and gratefulness. Besides, it might also change her life, in the future she would influence others on what she has learned about spreading love around. Furthermore, the teacher might educate students on what does love means. Imagine this, if all the students are taught what love is, how much influence can it brings to the society?
This is the reason why our current education system is a great failure. Parents are busy with earning big bucks and hence they have no time to keep track of how their children are doing in school. Teachers only know how to fulfill the entire required syllabus and judge the students based on their academic performance; they're not even a little bothered about the importance of personality shaping.
Education is supposed to develop one's personality. However our society values success with the achievement of status and quality of life. Everyone focuses on children's academic performance rather than educating them to properly develop their personality and to live life in the correct way.
Now some might say, it would be great if someone could just let May know Lyn's past, she would probably forgive Lyn's mistake. This is exactly the message that I want to convey!
To err is human, to forgive is divine. People tend to forgive themselves easily but find it difficult to forgive others. This is because you know what's happening inside yourself but you don't know someone else's side of story.
Buddha says, "There's no person who is truly bad or evil, there's only people with 'bad habit'". Everyone is born as blank sheet or tabula rasa as there are no evil in nature, our surroundings are the ones who shape us who we are today.
In the story, the reason behind why Lyn is always the scapegoat and she has never gained any trust from others is due to the environment that she was exposed and that shaped her personality.
For instance, if you were to be brought up in the red light districts, your dad lives by drinking and visiting prostitutes daily and your mum earns from selling her body. Under this environment your values in life would be deviated and in addition to the people that you would meet under these circumstances would severely affect your behavior. As a result, your 'bad habits' that you have cultivated while growing up would be perceived as rude and improper.
This is why Buddha said, there's no person who is truly bad or evil. The so-called bad people are the ones who are severely affected by the environment that they were brought up from which caused their kind-hearted nature went bad. Eventually, they perceive things in the wrong way and do wrong. I believe everyone has 'bad habit' but most of us have no idea how it became a habit, because habits are formed unconsciously regardless they are good or bad.
If you have completely comprehended this idea, when someone did wrong to you, all you need to do is by letting down your pre-judge mental thought and try to touch the person's heart with a forgiving heart. Treat people by holding on to the belief of 'returning good for evil' as we can help people by changing their lives and we can also do ourselves a favor by eliminating hatred that brings pain and misery.
So far, what is the truth behind the story? Don't assume that Lyn's past explains the truth. We are not God, we would never know the relationship between an individual with another and it is also impossible to find out everyone's past. What I would really like to convey is - everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes it doesn't mean you have sinned if you don't even know you have done wrong due to your bad habits.
The fact is everyone makes mistakes and everyone wishes to be forgiven. It is inevitable and you're not excluded from the joys and sorrow of meeting and departing with your loved ones and the cycle of life.
Here comes the highlight. Truth to be told all these are known fact, but why can't you just control your temper at that moment? This is because you have wasted all your strength on the thoughts of not being the one who was benefitted in the process. Thoughts are merely thoughts; it couldn't harm nor threaten your life. As if the person would really die if you hated the person so much, it doesn't actually turn out this way, isn't it? Thoughts are merely thoughts, you need not to eradicate the feeling because all you need to do is to be bystander, quietly observe the thoughts and allow it to come and leave naturally.
Not a single person could hold onto their thoughts forever, when it comes all you need to do is to be a soul of a bystander. You would come to realize that the thoughts would only affect your emotion and the time interval between transmitting the thoughts to emotion is extremely short that you wouldn't even have the time to think from the perspective of a bystander. Thus your emotion was reflected without any deep thoughts which result in incorrect judgements. This is just like a small quarrel that blows out of proportion which eventually turns into hate.
What does 'calm' mean? When others are in the midst of a fight, you would ask them to calm themselves down but why can't you do the same when you're the one who is involved? This is because you're viewing things from a bystander perspective when you asked others to calm down. You would be very objective in analyzing the problem because you're not emotionally affected, this is known as "lookers-on see most of the game".
The physical body is like a machine that specifically brings obstacles for you in life as if misleads you in perceiving that this is your true self by constantly producing various emotions. Karma! Karma! That's what we always say. Let me tell you what Karma really means. It comprises the meaning of "building up" and "obstacles". Simply put, Karma means your life is to be filled with obstacles due to the terrible habits that are developed.
For instance, your relationships always turn sour, hence in order to protect yourself from being dishearten once more, you would raise your guard by being extremely suspicious and possessive. Thus in the future even you have the chance to meet someone great, you would still mess things up due to your over suspicious and over possessive trait. These two traits are the habits that cause your life to be filled with obstacles and this is what we call Karma!
If you could have changed your habit, try to observe things wisely, clearly understand to let things be as it is and embrace the joys and sorrow of meeting and departing with your loved ones. This is because all these obstacles in life would instantly disappear into thin air if you practice perceiving things in this way. While analyzing a problem with your true self (soul), you would realize all these thoughts are nothing close to being harmful, this is provided that you're not as foolish to be concerned of it.
The only difference between saint and layman is that saint can perceive things with their true self. Laymen always perceive things negatively because they only distinguish things through the physical body. Having the thought of revenge is karma, because you're trading your happy moments with hatred.
I have never seen anything that could resolve well with an eye for an eye but I have seen many cases that end well with forgiving and embracing others' mistakes.
"Fate brought us together, fate also tear us apart." Meeting and making great ties require us to change our bad habits in order to cherish the given fate whereas bad encounter allows us to learn how to develop good habits and virtues because no pain no gain.
Just remember to let your true self (soul) to be in charge while handling problems and calmly observe the emotions or thoughts that are stirred up by your physical body. By doing so you would be able to lead a happy life.
The first line of the Heart Sutra says, "Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, when deeply practicing the Prajna-paramita, clearly saw that the five skandhas (senses) are all empty". This is to convey that the form is no other than emptiness and emptiness is no other than form. Form is exactly emptiness and vice versa. It tells us to perceive things through soul with emptiness (like Bodhisattva) and make use of your wisdom (practicing Prajna-paramita) to perceive thoughts that are produced by the five skandhas are eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. Ironically, you would come to realize the culprit behind the unhappiness is because of your own emotions, not from the person that you thought that he/she has harmed you. Hence we should keep calm at all times, regardless it's a good or bad incident. You wouldn't want yourself to get carried away and eventually end up with a sting in the tail.
You ought to be calm if you're ought to take control over your thoughts. However you have to constant;y practice. IT is acceptable to get overwhelmed with good news but remember to seek your true self when you're going through difficult times. Seize the moment before your reckless thoughts are expressed through your emotions and regain your calmness before that moment as time goes by, you would be able to seek the Bodhisattva in you.
If you want one to change for the better, praising is the best punishment.
I have never seen one truly change for the better with punishment. Most of the people refrain from doing wrong because they are afraid of the punishment that entails; it is not because they sincerely want to strive better. Especially younger children, their evil roots still exist, they are afraid of punishment hence they follow the tule. After punishment, there are indeed people who change for the better; however it is because they sincerely want to be better, and it has nothing to do with reprimanding or punishment.
Many have this mentality - "If you judge for what I have done, I'll show you what I am capable of doing." If this is what's happening, wouldn't the student behave even worse after the teacher publicly deemed him/her as bad student? The fact is many students are just less bright when they don't excel well academically which is not because they are lazy. However, once we deemed less-bright students as lazy students, they would think that it doesn't matter if they try harder since everyone stereotypes them as a lazy student. This is as if you want river water to be crystal clean despite polluting it by dumping rubbish into it every day.
Therefore, punishment doesn't work. Look at the prisoners, what did they learn from being locked up in the cell? All they have learned is to not get caught net time for the same offenses, eventually when they are released they are still the same old person who doesn't learn from mistakes and change for the better.
What should we do if others have sinned? Are we supposed to praise them for their deeds? Precisely! We should praise and encourage them, I was a chatterbox when I was in elementary and I would talk all day long regardless how much my teacher reprimands and punishes me. However everything changed when I was being elected as the disciplinary monitor, since then I have never uttered a single word during class. I strongly agree on this teacher's method of approaching, people normally heed encouragement but not punishment. Praises and encouragements drive one to perform well, because it makes them eager to perform what you are expecting. Hence don't forget if you want your loved ones to change the for the better, please praise and encourage them!
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